December 16, 2012

Emma's Story - Why

I have wanted to write this earlier, and the time has never been there, and now that I sit here to do it, I am struggling to figure out where to start and my mind feels fuzzy. This was a very blessed and spiritual experience and my hope is to share it in a way that whomever reads this, they will feel the spirit and gain a deeper testimony of Christ.

I have long wanted to do a natural birth, especially one at home. A nurse asked me why I chose to do this one natural when my other 3 I had epidurals. It was kind of an awkward moment, because the truth of the matter is - different husband. I was told previously by Mike, that he would never watch me go through such pain as I was in with Savannah because the epidural had worn off. He said I could do whatever I wanted naturally and holistically but that is where he drew the line. So I didn't have the support I would need to go through the process. I don't hold any negative feelings about this, I respected and still respect the request he made.

I now have a husband that is in full support of the things I choose to do, and it is his choice to do them with me. We are on the same page and it is a wonderful thing. I am so very grateful for the connection we have - before the birth of this sweet angel, and how much stronger it is having that experience together.

I was directed by some friends to a book called Christ Centered Childbirth. It brought a whole new meaning and desire to "natural" childbirth for me. Where as before I wanted to do it naturally because I wanted to avoid medicines filling mine and the baby's body, now I wanted this experience to come closer to my Savior and have Him be an active part of what I now believe to be a first ordinance in this life.

The book was really good, it had a lot of evangelical tone to it, but overall I learned so much and am so grateful for the new outlook on giving birth, and what a spiritual event it really is.

Through this I learned and gained a greater testimony of the Atonement, and just how healing, saving and infinite it really is. It is the Atonement that allows us to release fear and to have faith. Fear is what creates pain - physically to spiritually. In child labor and delivery we can use the atonement to release the fears we have about it and what has been created by society on the subject, and allow ourselves to have faith and relax.

My sister Julia delivered her son just 2 months ago using the same outlook and "technique" of using the Atonement, and she was able to do so as she calls it, painless.

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